August 2009
37 posts
i dont like myself today
.
Listen
The Beautiful Mistake . Who remembers them?
“Its the tyranny of irony with music now . not being able to say what you really mean.”
—Geoff Rickley
Sad face
SCREW YOU AND DIE I HOPE YOU BURN!!
I am not the one you want next to you as you sleep. I am not the man or strength. I am the weight and the sling your heart breaks as it lands into open hands before the ground.
I CANT STAND SO MANY FUCKING THINGS!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
Last Night
Last night i played with vinny from the movielife / i am the avalanche. He was pretty awesome . I felt like i did really horrible but my friends told me i didnt so i dont know . It was pretty fun last night . Now today i have nothing to do but sit in my quiet lonely house. I hope i dont drive myself crazy.
For real.
I. Wish. For. You.
“We were doomed from the start ad starters are why am I doing this. Dig my own grave though it’s shallow I will lie in it.”
—
I miss you
“Hopeing with each word I rip myself apart”
—
“
I’m s-i-c-k of my meaningless life
where c-h-a-n-c-e-s pass me by
it’s r-e-a-l-i-t-y
praise o-u-r lady of terrible guilt
that’s not my i-d-e-a of f-r-e-e will
it’s r-e-a-l-i-t-y
mister c-o-o-l at all the shows
your a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e is old
this is r-e-a-l-i-t-y
and you might ask why nothing’s ever how it seems
I think I knew more when i was 13
when did life get so real?
and now I feel like im losing my mind
i used to think all the time
now thinking hurts and feelings is worse
i liked reality better when it was a dream.
I am someone that no one will ever love. Lower me down into the talk that you won’t speak out loud.
Play
Sucks.
Fuck everything . Only me.
Age
Growing up is one of the hardest things I have ever had to face .sometimes it actually weighs me down to not wanna move because I know as time passes were all just dieing but you can’t think like that or you will go insane .
Weird mood,
That is why your probubly gonna find someone better and not give a fuck about me soon. Cool life. Shutting myself down.
Random stupid thoughts .
Life is pretty intense at times . It’s like I build up these scenarios in my head and make them out “worst” then they are. But are they really ? Am I really that much of an over thinker ? Or do I just feel real? I don’t stand like a statue and tough everything out . I do have a brain and heart . A big fucking heart. And I feel so deeply and strongly About things in life but who really cares right . People well some people bass a a relationship off of fucking. I mean at the end of the day fucking is fucking and loving is loving . You fuck and it’s over it feels good then it ends and your back to square one . And it’s cool and it’s fun but when you love ; love is all the time around and love is pure. Hopefully . I just get upset when people think that feeling deeply and having strong emotions is bad . I don’t think it is. I think it’s feeling real. I hope one day someone can except me as much as I feel like everyone thinks I’m a just a joke or a mess I hope one day someone finds sanity in it . When I do or when they do . I’ll be here . I hope it ends up sooner then I think. Though I’m young time can turn Its back on you if you think of time itself . You have to live with no time at all under your waist only the time of your eyes end.
2 weeks into warped tour
I have been on warped tour for 2 weeks now surrounded by a ton of bands, trends, haircuts..and you would think that a guy like me would have a million things to say about what I have seen here, and i do. I don’t like just popping up and saying this band sucks or this band is great. i try my best to wrap my head around things and analyze them before I talk about them.
Now there are bands that are bad for sure and bands that are great. The most disappointing thing that I am seeing these days is just completely fake bands. And I don’t mean fake in intentions and attitudes. I remember when that was the problem with the scene and I wish that was all it was. Things have gotten a lot worse then I could have imagined. The amount of “bands” that I see using autotune live, playing to drum tracks with a drummer pretending to play along, people even straight up lip syncing. It’s outrageous. Bands that use professional songwriters and bands that use sex appeal to win over 13 year old girls. It’s just awful. It almost makes me wish for bands that are writing and playing music just to get rich because that would be better then bands that are having other people write it for them and then pretending to play it live.
what really breaks my heart and gives me the feeling that this black cloud disguised in neon is going to continue to digest our scene until there’s nothing left of it is that no one seems to give a shit. The bands that are using auto tune when they play, don’t turn it off in between songs so they sound like auto tuned robots when they talk. It’s such an insult to people’s intelligence and these bands don’t even have to hide it because everyone is eating it up anyway. They need to take that shit over to radio disney.
To be honest I saw Brokencyde and Millionaires and after seeing a lot of other bands, I wasn’t even that offended by them. I mean, I don’t like it still, but at least they are exactly what they claim to be. They’re not pretending to be bands. They’re not trying to trick anyone into thinking that they’re musicians. And at least they write their own fucking songs.
I guess what I’m saying is, there are silent killers out there that are poisoning us from the inside, and they’re flying under our radars because they’re holding instruments and pretending to play them while we’re all bitching about the fucking Millionaires.
-“so why don’t we start making a history worth being proud of and start fighting the real fucking enemy?” -propagandhi
